My “rented Heaven” for Free

Hello Everyone :), so i thought heaven is only available once you pass the barrier of body and soul… too deep? Nahhh see if you focus on your surroundings youcan see patches of heaven around you (you are thinking “i see my dirty laundry and pet hair on the flour”, well clean That first then may beeee:D… )

When its getting too much to handle on the INSIDE, take a walk . Change your view, breath some new air, and observe what everyone else is doing πŸ˜‰ …its not to spy on your neighbours silly!!! Β you may end up like me when i focused on on my surroundings. Let me show you instead of blah,blablah ,blabah (i am not trying to copy the dracola here )

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My rented Heaven -Glimpse 1

That was the first view changing move, can you imagine anything better than purple coloured beautiful flowers, in the air as if they only bloomed for the pleasure of your eyes ❀ …Next came something near my feet

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Naturally Shabby chic-ish ,Glimpse 2
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Succulents with AmAZing blooms-Glimpse 3

See what i found next… succulents wth beautiful pink flowers.AMAZING right!! That is the first time i had ever laid eyes on succulcnet’s flowers. Thank God i saw this in my life on Earth πŸ˜€

Now enough about my discoveries, you better look for your things now. Wander and explore. These things are made for you to search and observe and then Praise God’s creations ❀

You better Go now before i poke you literally to explore… Keep me posted about what you got ,i would love to hear your comments. You can share it with someone you think is drowning the mood πŸ˜€

Positivity is living in the WOODS

I am glad we did not get any apartment,even though we were searching for 2-3 months. Just the day we were supposed to be moving out of our old apartment (all luggage in the storage blocks rented in another city) !!!! YEAH we were changing cities … so i was 8 months pregnant, moving from one appointment to another ,then the next.

My patience broke down and the tear bags went loose and i cried about walking for blocks looking for new apartment. My husband suggested we take one last appointment and then that’s it, we rent some hotel room for the next starting month. Last appointment was 50 minutes from the central station, taking train first and then a bus.

While it was passing from the thick forest and we were yet awaiting to reach our stop, we were both down. Reached-saw the apartment- okay landlords-on our journey back. My husband did’not agreed to it. Its sooo FAR from the city, how will i manage going back and forth everyday at 8 in the morning.

Well we fought about it (i blame my preg. hormones πŸ˜‰ it was not ME )

Now its my 7th month in our House and we cant help it ,its growing on us. I will let the picture talk for itself.IMAG2254

Well !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHAT do you think

Its the view from my terrace, and best is when i see cycle riders going through the forest , my eyes follow them all the way from left to right in pic πŸ˜€

In life we see pro n cons of everything, y not make the best out of our day by focusing on positive things. We all have our share of tension and worries and finance issues but we got beauty around ourselves too. Lets focus on THAT beauty for 5 minutes everyday and give our nerves some rest, they deserve it.

What soothes you down when you feel such panic attack”this is gonna be the end of me”?

I would love to read your comment and will try to apply it too for myself in my next freaking-out moment.

 

 

 

 

My Birthing Experience

I Have 3 sisters and they have number of kids for me to know “different types of births”. I was reading everything to increase my knowledge but then preparing myself for C section(my worst nightmare) so i wont be disheartened at that moment, as if there was need of anything more at That time.

Plan was to have my mom with me in Germany, well i messed it up and she did not get the visa. Messed it up because probably i was busy dealing with shitty previous landlords, looking up for new apartments and giving my exams along with being 8th month Fat pregnant lady. I still think its my fault… Mom could not make it and got an apartment on last day of my previous housing contract (yes it was That dramatic).Moved in, settled down, Hospital was 45 minutes by bus (have to change 2 bus connections to get there) it was all okay.

I started having contractions exactly on my EDD. I thought during first baby everything is late ,well mine was EXACTLY on time. After contractions were 6-7 minutes apart, we decided to go to Hospital as i have to go by bus. I didn’t want the sound of Ambulance in this area, don’t wanna alarm the neighbors do we?

Did not allow my husband to call either of our parents because i thought they were oceans away and will do nothing but worry till i am done, so its better i will call them myself when this ALL is over.Well contractions were for 35 hours to be exact, they were close apart when i was walking but again stretches when i was tired from walking and would lie down. On 2nd Day Doctors said we should go home as it is not proceeding… i told the nurse that i think i am peeing a little out of control…, every time i rush to toilet.She checked and told us it wasn’t pee, but my water bag is ruptured and now they cant allow me to go back as chances of infection to baby can be more then.

They gave me COCKTAIL of oils (don’t get carried away ,it looks yummy but it had a horrible after-taste) πŸ˜€ , things sped up then and i had some serious pains for straight two hours. I was writhing in pain and crunching my husbands hands with each and every new one , when i called the nurse and said please give me an epidural now, i dont think i can take it anymore. Feeling can not be described as how they were … Thank God they didnt listen to me and gave me an injection in my lower back ,which helped me to sleep. I was sleeping for little time between every 2 minutes apart contraction. My husband said ‘you turned all red during the pain’ and honestly i dont remember anything except fragments of memory. My husband’s expressions all disturbed while looking at me… He was so tired from past few days he was holding my hand in one hand and phone in other (keeping our group of people who knew about my labor ‘informed’. When i was taking my mom’s name during one contraction…i wanted to cry for her because she went through this for 7 times πŸ˜₯

Well after another 30 minutes i was prepared to be done with it because i thought it was going to be the end of me πŸ™‚ so i asked my husband to please call the nurses and take me to kreissal. When i was being prepared for checkup, i stopped the midwife and said i think i want to use toilet as i feel like pooping then… She did not listen to me and moved to next step with measurement and announced its not poop ‘the baby is here’. That was like a water bucket thrown at my face and for a second me and my husband looked at each other and we realized ‘bloody hell no wonder that was the peak of that mountain’.

Midwife was really helpful and she motivated me first but when ever i was losing it she provoked me to keep going,i think i even said some harsh words to her too (may be only in my mind) because my husband do not remember me saying anything bad to her …i am so glad. My baby’s head was 37 cm (yes it was that big, so you can imagine the tearing even though i used butter in all recommended forms)… once head was out it was actually all over,little more pain and curled body covered in blood slipped out. While placenta came i felt horrified and ask the nurse if i dropped any of permanent organs and she just said:’no this is fine'(lolz)

Long story short, i was stitched….but some vessels kept leaking blood and i was swollen to a size of water melon may be when they were shifting me to a room.

Team of 3 doctors was there, they told me that they have to open up the stitches again and redo them to avoid bleeding, i said okay do it now because i wanted to start healing asap.

Was opened up then and redid all stitches,was hating that surgeon during that time.

Next day again swelling, more bleeding, opt was booked for my surgery and i was started for 6-9 hours because opt was busy with emergency cases… cant say anything to that right. They strapped me in as if i was patient for electric shots and i was just trying not to freak out. For the first time noticed feeling of watching every passing ceiling light of hospital like in movies and trust me it was not fun. One doctor was telling me about whole body anesthesia that i will be out and as soon as i breathed it in ‘i was out’

Woke up after 2 hours and was taken under supervision of nurses for 5 days with 3 doses of liquid antibiotics via IV everyday. Painkillers 2 strong ones every day like a ritual.and was discharged on day before 25 dec…

New chapter of life started when i realized I am the only one she has got now…

 

 

 

holding my baby for first time

Howdy everyone

like every normal human woman, i have always crossed my problems with a single statement Β ‘One thing at a time’. Β I thought preparing yourself for a family is difficult ,either financially or emotionally….then was focused on passing through different stages of my trimesters (nausea during my classes, vomiting as regular as dates on a calendar Β first 4 months ,yes it was 4 Or the sneezing,flu sort thingy during whole pregnancy……) last i believed once the baby is out in this world ,its gonna be juuuust fineee, lolz yup that was me.

NOW however its a different story as all the mothers out there know already πŸ™‚ So here goes the title your DD is top of a hill but its not the finishing line of the race you are in. You still have a long way to go, you are someone’s MOMA so you have to live upto it.

I was remembering today , read an article before my baby’s birth that immediately after birth you feel either tiredness or you forget everything when you hold your baby for the first time…. I just wanted to calm her down because she was curling herself into a ball and crying so badly. Somehow i knew only my voice will calm her down and then within seconds she was so intent on listening to my voice and trying to look up and see me with her still clogged up eyes… it was not like anything i have felt before ever during my 24 years on earth :’)

first weeks of Motherhood

Hello ,i am Ume-imamah here , if anyone is even interested πŸ˜‰ hailing from one of the forests of southern Germany….student who is in middle of her uni education and currently on semester break for baby.

Life is taking some new turns here, me being in the 4th week of motherhood. So many things are happening that i have bothered not to count. Listening to crying baby every now and then , sore muscles , overnight cramps and keeping up with unaccomplished tasks of everyday etc etc. See i am trying not to count πŸ™‚

Going through delivery without all the love of family around me was extremely difficult…(i come from a large family and a country where pregnancy is celebrated on every day and you are spoiled in numerous ways πŸ˜€ during P and even after the baby ). Spent all the time ‘count your blessings girl’ ….

crying baby alert ,ciao till next time.